Damn Infidel Terrorists!

I love lamingtons!!!!!!

Oh, to have a nice chocolate covered sponge to rub a tub tub with, and
get chocolate and coconut all over my clothes. It's the little things
i miss from Australia. Lamingtons, snap 'n' squeeze sauce packs you
get with a sausage roll and you get no mess on your shoes.

Did I mention Sydney's got no fucking bombs!!!!

It's been a hectic week here, suspicious packages and bomb squads
taping off tube stations for hours while a courageous, yet hesitant,
copper tip-toes up to the rucksack and peaks inside at some kids
stinky sports clothes he left behind absent-mindedly.

I guess you don't get that much on Kings St, but i know there's a lot
spunky design students walking around, not bad if you want a perve.
Particularly when they're wearing see-through tops with their boobies
poking out, but i forgot, it's winter!!!!!! Shit, that's gotta suck!
Rock on summer, i say. Not that i would actually perve at ladies or
anything, Denise, because you know I'm a nice guy and I'm getting
married.

how's the exhibition going? Good - suspect with your dedication. i
hear you met up with my Mum. She didn't mention Jesus too many times
in front of you, did she? I gave her a little of using the name six
times. After all, you're Nicky six.

How's things going with SB, is it still on? Last i heard, you were
thinking about running away with that bozo, Tommy Lee and making
pornos on his boat.

Back to London. Yeah, its been a week of people glaring at anyone
carrying a sports bag. It can be on trains, buses, even walking. If
you see someone with a bag, you glare. Soon it will be un-PC to call
someone a bag-carrier, it'll be the new racism. I was sitting on the
train with a black guy across from me, dressed in an Adidas tracksuit,
looking like a tough homeboy, and carrying a big black bag. He's
glaring back at me, and I'm thinking he could be Muslim. he's got a
beard. His angry eyes stare into my soul, as he asks, 'What is in your
bag, mate?

He's bloody asking me! My backpack couldn't hold a bomb!

'Just my lunch.' i say, 'What about yours?'

He looks like I've slapped his face as he unzips it to reveal
cricket gear. Bag bigotry is indiscriminate, we're all victims. i
gotta trim my beard.

Then again, on Thursday it was supposedly going to kick off for real,
but no was hurt and everyone had to walk home again. These terrorists
are making many disgruntled commuters, but that's not such a bad thing
Britain's papers were just recently complaining about how the majority
of their population needed to be more exercise, the lazy bastards.

Me, I got a bike and i whizz past them every time there's a shutdown,
but I feel their envious eyes wanting to mug me for it, not that
anyone envied me when i rode past their buses in the snow. Look who's
laughing now suckers!

But then on Friday, there was that guy that got his head blown off on
the train, just for looking suss. It's come out that he had nothing to
do with terrorism. Don't know why he was running, probably had a stash
of hash or some shit on him. now, it feels like it's going to kick off
with the tension between Muslims and coppers.

Even at the sight seeing tourists are victims. Have you ever noticed
how similar the words 'Tourist,' and 'Terrorist' are? Try saying them
both with a thick Japanese accent.

'Hi! Yes, me tourer-ist!!!'

Bang! five lead ones to the head.

But, everyone knows who's responsible for the bombs. It's those
fanatics, the God-less French. they're jealous they missed out on the
Olympics.

Yeah, i got another job teaching, but this one is over in Barking, in
Essex. It takes me just over half an hour to get work, with my bike
and the tube, not that i mind because it's probably better not to be
working in London at the moment.