Cock Rock Explodes!

I was shooting a video the other night in the park for a band called Bug Girl and this messed up thing happened. One of the filmic ideas was to make a cock-rocket (because you know the band's music is great but you might say its a little cock rock). So this dude had a stap-on strapped on, it was made from gaffer tape which was wrapped around a thousand match-heads and molded into the shape of a penis. Anyway...

So the other night i was making a music video for a band called Bug-Girl and this seriously messed up thing happened.



We were shooting in a park the other night (becuase cheap locations are the best, if you keep that under your hat) and as we were filming it all these local bums turned up to watch - guess there wasn't much going on down at the General Gordon (think of the crappest pub in the inner west of Sydney filled with pokies and old men staring at them), so instead they decided to sit around our set (the park) and watch and piss on.

Anyway, one of the filmic ideas was to make a cock-rocket (because you know they're music is good but you could say its a little bit cock rock) so this dude had his stap-on on, made from gaffer tape which was wrapped around a thousand match-heads and molded into the shape of a penis. He had attached this to a silver g-string, very visual. But the cock wasn't too big or anything, because you know, we didn't want it to look ridiculous.

So the guitar solo is cranking, Amber (shes' the lead guitarist) is reaching up with her guitar into the night sky. It's pure music cliche. Girls are lying at her feet holding onto her legs and next to them is Mr cock-rocket.

It's time for lift-off.

He lights up. Sparks fly. The rocket is a jet of fire shooting out of his crotch. And man, you should see the guy's face, he's scared shitless, like his looking down at a Rottweiler dog gnawing at his man-business.

I'm thinking, 'holy fuck - I hope this all doesn't go terribly wrong and I have to rush him to hospital (I could just imagine trying to explain it to the nurse on duty). but God, it looks so damn good on my camera. We gotta keep this rolling.'

The bums are interested too, one of them has come onto the set and looks like he's seen Jesus. One of those totally amazed looks. He gets down on his knees as the fiery cock starts to subside, pulls out a ciggie, takes a light and grins at the camera.

This is filmic art and I've been editing it up on my computer and i'm loving it

I'll post again soon when its up.

Tom Norton (Aka chicken Cheese)

Bob Evans: A Suburban Jedi?

By Tom Norton
(Article I wrote for Fasterlouder)

Today, Perth is grey and cloudy. Kevin Mitchell, the man who calls himself Bob Evans, is getting ready for a cold winter and massive tour, but that’s not a problem. It’s these past couple of weeks that have been trying for him. He’s been fighting a very serious and ongoing problem with penis enlargement spammers. That, and he has recently been crowned *Rolling Stone*’s ‘King of Pop’. A crown he still hasn’t received. Bob’s not impressed!

“All bow before me!” he laughs down the phone.

Photo ABC TV

Recently, readers of Rolling Stone magazine voted him as this year’s best male artist, beating some bloke called Justin Timberlake. He would love to say to it was good thing… “But the crown hasn’t come,” Mitchell says. “I haven’t received anything. Nothing. I’m really quite shocked and appalled by that, actually.” You can hear the mirth in his voice. “I didn’t even know Rolling Stone readers knew who I was. I’m surprised because they never asked me for an interview, but after my manager told me about it I thought they’d at least send me a copy of the magazine in place of a crown.”

He’s not going out of his way to make a big thing of it. “I haven’t mentioned it to [ Jebediah and they haven’t mentioned it to me. There’s some things have to just go unspoken, alright. Me winning the best male artist for Rolling Stone is something I don’t think they know about and, I suspect if they do, they’re not going to mention it. They don’t want my head to get that big.”

What’s big is the amount of penis enlargement spam hitting his Bob Evans’ MySpace site. “It all comes from America. It’s just given me another reason to hate America, like I needed any more, but now there’s these fucking penis enlargement adds. I’m fucking sick of it. Every day I’m deleting these comments and it’s the same ones every single time.”

The rest of his life seems pretty good, with Suburban Songbook being short listed for AMP (Australian Music Prize) and a J Award Nominee, he’s now taking the Songbook on the road. The Sadness and Whiskey tour is literally going all over Australia with so many stops it hurts your head to look at.

“I think there’s only one place I’ve never been too on this tour before, and that’s Bernie in Tasmania. I’ve never been to Bernie, but with Jebediah I’ve pretty much been to every other place.”

If Suburban Kid, his first release under the Bob Evans name, was quoted as being inspired by the sexual frustration from his misses being away, then Suburban Songbook is about love. If it were a picture he says, as opposed to a landscape, he sees it as a skyscape. “It’s a really light blue sky, that Australian summer washed out blue with a few fluffy white clouds.”

So we’ve got Suburban Kid and Suburban Songbook, what’s next? Anyone could guess that his next album is going to have the word Suburban in its title. Suburban Bible, perhaps? He laughs, “Yeah, it might be called the suburban enlightenment, which will be the final part of the trilogy.” Or possibly a Suburban Jedi.

Songbook was produced in Nashville, USA by Brad Jones (Josh Rouse, Yo La Tengo, Sheryl Crow, Jill Sobule) and Mitchell would love the opportunity to go back. “It’s the first time ever I’ve experienced making a record and I’ve wanted to exactly the same all over again,” he says. “Every time with Jebediah, we’ve had a different producer and worked in a different studio and we’ve always wanted to things differently, but this time I want to repeat the whole process over gain because it was that good.”

The sound is good too and features drums by Ken Coomer (ex Wilco) and there are some parts on the album that have a beautifully layered quality that you could imagine would be quite complicated and difficult to replicate in a live performance. You can’t help wondering if he’s going to be up to this on the tour.

“Live is really a different beast, but I’ve always kind of liked that, you know?” he says. “Because in some ways I’m always disappointed when I’ve gone to see a band sounds exactly like the record. It just gets a bit boring when it sounds too perfect. I’ve always dug bands that when you hear them live, you hear all the songs you know and love from the record, but they’ve either done them in a raw kind of way or they’ve messed with the arrangements.

“So with the band I’m touring with it’s going to be a rock and roll version of the record.”

Suburban Songbook is out now, catch Bob Evans on his Sadness and Whiskey tour at the venues here.