Angkor Wat?

Angkok Wat!!! It’s beautiful, but as soon as we stepped off our rickshaw an army souvenir selling kids attacked. You buy! You my friend. You buy my flute. My Pen. My whatever.

RUN!!!!!

Everybody’s gotta make a living though, right?



The place is gorgeous, massive trees grow out the top of walls with their roots like tentacles crushing bricks while holding them together at the same time. I suspect every western bloke who’s ever been here has fancied himself as a bit like Indiana Jones, I did. Because everyone wants get away from the crowds to explore the temples as though they were the first person to ever stumble across it in eons.

At the Jungle temple, you can easily pull off this trick of difficult psychological self delusion because in the reality is the place is in ruins with jungle growing all over it and you could be the first. This is also the temple where Angelina Jollie strutted her stuff in Tomb Raider, so maybe there’s ladies out there thinking they’re a big breasted sexy lady running around in lycra. I haven’t ask Sandy about this yet but as I said it take a bit of psychological self delusion.

So we’re in the Jungle temple, ruins and trees have fused together and I’ve lost Sandy and Mook, I’d like to say they took a wrong turn but I’m starting to think it was me. I’m walking into a dark tunnel and the difference in temperature hits you as you step down out of the sun into the ruined catacombs. Its cool in here and your suddenly aware of how wet you are from sweat. It’s nice.

As I stumble over bricks and roots, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the sudden lack of light, I start wishing I had a whip, because Harrison Ford looked so cool with one and it’d add the perfect touch to my fantasy and this is better than the movies. This is real. There’s ancient inscription on the walls, which you expect would say something very deep and meaningful, but then with my linguistic expertise it could also translate to ‘Billy wants to give it to Sally’

I stumble on. Up ahead candle light is flashing yellow light and shadows around a dark chamber. There’s chanting too.

C’mon Mr Indie.

A Buddhist nun is praying before an ancient statue. Her voice is soft and the candle light illuminates her and the old stone of Buddha’s head. This is real. This is my movie. She smiles at me, sensing me watching. I smile back.

‘You want good luck?’ She offers me an incense stick. I notice by her feet a Tupperware container containing money.

‘Um…. How much?’

‘Just $2.’ (That’s US currency)
\
‘Um…. No thanks’ I repeat the same in Khemer backing away.

Her face gets darker. ‘But Good Luck for You!!!’ She thrusts the stick at me.

‘No.’

You can see her face transforming from Zen granny to dark demon. I’m in a hole with her. I wanna get out. She starts swearing, or what I assume is swearing in her language. My superior linguistic skills tell me she’s saying something like, ‘Curse, hiss, Die Cunt, bastard, asshole.’

I run back into the light and find Sandy and Mook.

You can’t blame the old bitty though because everybody’s gotta make a living though, right?

The Temples are amazing. The experience is definitely worth it. And its lets you live out your fantasies (not the naughty ones) even if it is covered by a zillion beggars, monks (who also want you money for their English lessons) and tour groups, but I’m loving because I’m a tourist there’s nothing better than being a backpacker tourist because it’s a very nice way to be homeless and unemployed.

Tomorrow we’re making the documentary.