In the Closet...

My Head!

So I've been lazy and haven't written for a while. Well there was Xmas and New Year's. Who can keep up with everything during those times? Not You. Not Me. Not even the demented personifications we've created can keep up their efforts after the parties are over. You don't see Santa or Jesus for months after their big week.

As for Berlin, it seems Sandy and I are between houses, jobs, lives, worlds, languages, and everything in this city. It´s like we´ve fallen into the cracks of some parallel society, where everyone speaks German to each other, except to us.

Yes, we're learning but most people appear to feel a bit silly when they let us to talk to them in broken German when they can speak fluent English (unlike the French).

So we're between houses too, next month we move into the most awesome amazing loft apartment.

This week though we're taking whatever we can get. The place we're in at the moment has a shower in the kitchen, you have stand next to the stove which is at the same height, a serious occupational heath and safety nightmare, and but then the craziest thing is the toilet. It's in a closet.

Below I've attached a pic of our crazy kitchen shower and the closet dunny. The toilet ain't so bad, 'cept that you have to announce you're gonna drop a number two before you do it. It's an odd sort of etiquette with having to tell someone what you're intending to do, you could say it's pre-meditated 'merde,' Otherwise if you don't announce it, you might get sprung when someone walks down the hall. 'Hello,' you'd say,'Don't mind me. I'm just doing one of those perfectly human functions.'

No, i don't think bodily functions can bring Sandy and me closer together. it's not our relationship's final frontier. No way. A shit between lovers is like like mixing your work life with your private life. I'm sure it works for some people, but then so do foot fetishes, which I assume most people consider the idea of sniffing an old shoe while wanking just plain odd.

What about dropping a turd in front of your boss? Personally, I'd feel a little more than odd.

Our shower on the other hand is a bit of a novelty. Bathing next the kettle while cooking some soup has led me to believe its not such a bad idea.

Anyway, I'm sorry, some of the old Aussie crudeness slipped out on that one. I was on a bit of a roll I guess. This was originally meant to be written for a friend, i've decided to post it, they'll mind a bit, but.....

Oh God, I'm lazy. More soon. Honest. I swear.

Art Pic from inside the Berlin's Sony Centre